} George Carlin has many famous quotes about government, education and the American dream that are often referenced as truth. Did you ever stop to think about all the people we kill? Or, at the very least, it will be slanted to suit them, and then rarely followed up. George Carlin, 64. page: {requestId: "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", meaningful: "interactive"} Its totally FREE. (function() { 3. We talk too much,love too seldom, and hate too often. If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, 11. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. if (window.ue && window.ue.tag) { window.ue.tag('author:quotes:signed_out', ue.main_scope);window.ue.tag('author:quotes:signed_out:mobileWeb', ue.main_scope); } When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. I hate a group of people with a common purpose. Injuring, hurting, killing, drinking are all part of it because youve lost your identity because you now owe your allegiance to this thing thats bigger than you are and that controls you. George Carlin, 71. He is a sucker for good coffee, Indian food, and video games. > Quotable Quote. Christmas Quotes For Mothers To Make Her Day, These 10 Quotes About Best Friend Love Are Perfect For Showing Your True Colors, 118+ Inspiring Christmas Quotes For Instagram That Will Bring A Warm Glow To Your Holiday Season, Mourning Your Dogs Death With Quotes From Rainbow Bridge, 15+ Rumi Quotes On Happiness That Will Boost Your Mood, These Rumi Quotes About Depression Will Bring You Comfort. In his 50-year career as one of Americas most poignant and provocative social critics, the irreverent actor, author and comedian left no sacred cow unsinged as he took to lobbing one grenade after the next into the comfort zones of American life. 4. George Carlin was one of the most iconic comedians of all time and he had a lot to say about government. You should die first, get it out of the way. Really? " Forget the politicians. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. Have you ever noticed that the only metaphor we have in our public discourse for solving problems is to declare war on it? I love individuals. var e = document.createElement("script"); e.src = "https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/41mrkPcyPwL.js"; document.head.appendChild(e); Lists. In this blog post, weve compiled some of his most compelling quotes on the subject for you to consider as well! When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. } But did you ever notice that we have no war on homelessness? There is only a short pause before the next horrifying event. Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience." - George Carlin 2. "CacheDetection.RequestID": "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. throw new Error("could not load device-specific stylesheet : " + err.message); Then you live in an old age home. Never argue with an idiot. The planet is fine. Its interested in its own power. session: { id: "334-5362882-2183381" }, Born: May 12, 1937. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, 18. [CDATA[ Save the planet? They own all the important land. Trouble is, most of them suck. If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. It doesnt only represent the good things. If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. It will not be with jack-boots. Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck. George Carlin, 52. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. My mind doesnt work that way, I got this real moron thing I do, its called thinking and Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions I have certain rules I live by. You know what they ought to do with churches? var cookiePair = cookie.split('='); Below youll find the best collection of George Carlin quotes. A person of good intelligence and of sensitivity cannot exist in this society very long without having some anger about the inequality and its not just a bleeding-heart, knee-jerk, liberal kind of a thing it is just a normal human reaction to a nonsensical set of values where we have cinnamon flavored dental floss and there are people sleeping in the street. George Carlin, 68. The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. George Carlin, 87. url = "https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/mobile/phone_images-9e9093f0cfddba8c2b1e815375d976a3.css"; Theres a humorous side to every situation. George Carlin. The planet is fine. Its a great feeling. My first rule, I dont believe anything the government tells me And I dont take very seriously the media or the press in this country. George Carlin, 82. A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin, 16. If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse. Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the State houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. George Carlin, 63. I look at war a little. "Laugh often, long and loud. Its disgusting, man. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. 50 The Alchemist Quotes To Make You Follow Your Dreams, 195 Best Cobra Kai Quotes (Seasons 1 5), 70 Attack On Titan Quotes That Will Inspire Greatness, 37 The Lion King Quotes Filled With Powerful Life Lessons, Your email address will not be published. }("apstag", window, document, "script", "//c.amazon-adsystem.com/aax2/apstag.js"); These George Carlin funny quotes on religion, government, and stupid people will make you laugh as well as think about things deeply. a[a9]._Q.push([c, r]) If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. They own everything. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but I'll tell you what they don't want: They don't want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if youre really looking.George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die,your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? Carlin is well-known for pivoting from a strait-laced, suit-and-tie approach to standup in the late 1960s and early . Im talking about the real owners now the real owners. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("surface", "mw"); Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. // Some people see things that are, and ask, why? window.Mobvious.device_type = 'mobile'; Let me know in the comments below and please share this post. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. He was a true outspoken man that we can emulate in many ways. That's the problem. The upper class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, 53. " George Carlin 15. We cut education, in 50 years, well be so stack with idiots with shitty jobs that we wont have enough money to pay for defense! George Carlin, 85. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from.
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