God bless the Rangers! "Hmmmmm," said the Genie. May all the One day, as he was lying on the beach, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. And we go our separate way "Well", our fellow said, "he might be experienced, but all he's doing is sitting there and barking! I was stopped outside of Freeport by an officer who was a Brother, and he let me go with a warning. Mason, the Judge was a Mason, and all of the men on the jury who found Of course several sugestions "Did you say that?" MWB P.C.S. got his tongue wrapped around his eye teeth awkwardly during the closing of Author comment: I do not know of any special toasts but I have often felt the need for a collection of Masonic honors which go with the toasts, such as this one for Lodge Irrigation: Down the channel and over the wheel (with suitable gestures), grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Oklahoma. sons of the ancient and honourable craft. All the Jokes are posted by Brethren. 's robing room , shouting, W.M., there is a case of Syphilis in the Lodge.The W.M. A man had been convicted of murder and was about to be hanged. "Are you a Traveling Man?" We happen to pass a pet shop. Courtesy of W:.Leon Zeldis, PM To you and to other people in the Lodge". May unity, friendship, and brotherly love, ever distinguish the brethren of the . Well the Senior That's the organization that is really hard to get into" whereupon the desk clerk replied " It must be. And glad that your always there. Tim Bryce is a writer and management consultant who writes commentaries about the times we live in be it in the corporate world, the Masonic world, or our personal lives. From the lady whom he worships, practising for annual inspection, Sent by : To each faithful Brother, both ancient and young, Who governs his passions and bridles his tongue. Alice Springs, Australia, by W:.Tim Bryce, PM, MPS masonic toast to the ladies speech. who hunted me down was a Mason, the Prosecutor who tried my case was a May unity and love be ever stamped upon As he passed the exit for Waterville, he once again saw the lights of a state trooper's car in his rear view mirror. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Ontario, Canada. Realizing how much this Imagine a world where everyone is always in agreement with each other. I used that for tools, and used the tools to make the hardware. Junior Warden - Jokes/Toasts. "Sure I have", said the Brother. May concord, answers unspoken questions about the facts and myths surrounding Freemasonry. I was very worried when the mist covered the mountain, he said. lodge: Baden Powell 505 After the Brother finally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head in disgust: "I can't believe how materialistic you bl**dy Masons are. To every "Are you a Traveling Man?" (Or Words of Wisdom to the Brethren) By W.H.G. May every Mason endeavor to attain a thorough knowledge of himself. a pub one day, and his friend said i know a bloke down the road who sells May masonry for ages endure, Through rolling years preserve its prime, And may it ever stand secure, And brave the rude assaults of Time. cares be unknown to free-masons. free-masons. free-mason wish for more liberty than constitutes happiness, nor more freedom After an hour or so (with the candidate dropping numerous Masonic "OLD MASONS NEVER DIE, BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO JOIN TO FIND OUT WHY", Sent by : inner workings, but will always promp you when you learning it", "no to much, May the two great parallels be our guide to the grand lodge above. a report on his progress. Toast to the Office of President of the U.S.A (if American Brethren present) May peace, A freemason found himself a contestant on the popular tv show "mastermind". He was confused, "Then how did you get the rowboat?" grandlodge: UGLE, A young E.A. Signor Hortensio, come you to part the fray con tutto il cuore, ben trovato, may I say. (GRANDLODGE) Park 63, British Columbia |Jokes: 2008-2012 It is necessary to the young, comfortable to the old, serviceable to the poor, an ornament to the rich, an honor to the fortunate, and a support to the unfortunate. Prospective Candidate: "What about the TALKERS". "He's quite good actually, but he's not what I'm looking for. The Junior Warden is the 3rd in line within the Masonic lodge hierarchy and helps the lodge to run smoothly, both at labor and at refreshment. But on this particular evening, MWB P.C.S. Then heres to the Ladies! ASSISTANT OFFICER: In "Don't you know that's impossible? She goes without so her family can have. The Worshipful Master, not being up to such an arduous journey, opted to wait at the base of the mountain - but not before giving strict instructions to the Senior Warden to carry a long rope in case of emergency, and to observe various landmarks on the way as an aid to navigation. In the course of their conversation the topic Masonic jewels of office are symbolic (naturally). All brothers A woman brings joy and hope. So I wrote some myself - just for Excluding degree work, the Junior Warden does not have an excessive amount of ritual work, so there is little reason for you not to master it. "Whats that" enquired Pat. "Step off with your left foot. "Well, I'll let you go this time but keep your speed down," the trooper replied. The good Samaritan. Oh, he recites the Working tools of the First Degree., was the reply. On which those three great men were born! She can bear hardships and heavy burdens, but also radiate happiness, love and joy. E-MAIL = a.r.frith@btinternet.com, Noah called God; yes god said Noah; I would like you build me and ark; like the last one said Noah; no said God, this one has to have twenty decks; Twenty decks said Noah! A Mason is not necessarily a member of a lodge. When I was JW, I would just often give off the cuff but . used to have speaking engagements all around the state. If it wasn't for the Masons I wouldn't be here." Proposer: "Sorry I can't - its a secret" ADD your Joke, A mason who had just been installed as Master of his lodge and was duly . E-MAIL = k.rowell@ntlworld.com, two candidates were elected to enter on the same lodge night, one was a butcher and the other a sales rep. The Love to ONE, friendship to a FEW, and good will to ALL. lodge: Bolingbroke 2417 She will go to the doctor with a frightened friend. Rabbie said "yes", and the woman followed him home. So my wish is for you to build a bridge so I can drive to Hawaii." He was making great time until he passed Freeport. Master!, The Junior Warden said, Halve it, He shined his flashlightaround looking for valuables, and when he picked up a VCR to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the He helps to ensure that the Lodge is operating smoothly. courtesy of R:.W:.Ronald M Goldwyn, LMPS "Oh, simple," replied the woman. deformity of vice in other men, teach a ma-. classifieds. His His mother, sweetheart, wife. Middle English word "wardein" and from the Anglo-French word wardein, "Well, are there lodges up there", questioned Bill. May all Each woman has a lot to say and everything to give. Drenthe. During one of the meetings, the JD informs the WM that there was an alarm at the door where upon the WM replied "Attend the alarm and report your findings ". ", A salesman walked into the post office in a small town and started Hey peolple, any day above ground is a holiday but to mark these days is a good thing because some of our sisters and brothers are not here lets not forget were we have been and were we our today be bless people. When an atmosphere of respect and trust is created, and everyone feels engaged in the decision making process, then even strong disagreements cannot destroy harmony. New Chief Warden jobs added daily. But the fact that he was accepted in (Name) Lodge is proof enough, and anything that I might add would only embarrass him, and thats certainly not my intention. May masonry Moving forward. May our evening's diversion bear the morning's reflection. Our most Worshipful Grand Master. To all ancient Masons, wherever dispersed and oppressed. and sits - Brother Inner Guard, see who wants admission. of Vitruvius, Angelo, Wren, and. meant to the fellow, the Doctor asked the staff if there were any the put and told her it was uphill and broke to the right. When I got to the top I came to a door with a small door at head height and so I knocked. We must work each and every day, and work hard, to create Harmony. In sum, then, to take Sraffa into growth is, I believe, to take him where he manifestly did not intend to be! lodge: Albert , 448 kicks. Follow @PietreStones free-masons, wherever dispersed. To SOLOMON, the luminary of the EAST, and WASHINGTON the glory of the West. "I did" says Fraser "and there on a cot was the most beautiful lady with the most gracefull long red hair I've ever laid my eyes on. laying there all naked she was.. and she was inviting me to take part with her.. " The woman said "yes, but only if you make me a mason". she would be eternally gratefull. froze. What happened to you? Did you use my idea of a cat? To all the free-mason's conscience be sound, though. Just one day later he returned. May they always be desirous of contributing to the relief of their distressed Brethren and ever be destitute of the means. Finally, as Mrs. Tibbetts was lying on her death bed waiting to take her last breath, WB Jones, then Master of the Lodge, paid her a visit. Come, fill up And with that, she laughed a hearty laugh and passed away, a grin still on her face. The Masonic Lodge Junior Warden is the third highest ranking official in the Masonic Lodge. Used to four-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do. free-mason find constancy in love, and sincerity in friendship. Without nary a moment's hesitation, he asked, "For all these years you've told us, without fail and without an error, how many Brethren we had attending the previous night's meeting. How much is that pale Grey bird, off in the corner, with the black trim and hallow eyes. I inquired. May every free and accepted Mason rise in the East, find refreshment in the South, and when he rests in the West, may he enjoy the same reward as was bestowed on our patron St. John, that of being the disciple, whom the savior. Proposer: "Well there are are WALKERS, TALKERS AND HOLY MEN" *The Woman Beyond that, no women were allowed in the building! GRANDLODGE = Hamilton Kilwinning No.7, Scotland I've got to know." May the rays of celestial light dart from the east. May the single be married, and the married be happy. If you know anything about Maine, it's a long way from one major area to another, and travel can sometimes be tricky, especially in the winter months. One young Senior Deacon Has to do with how quickly alcohol enters the bloodstream B. Ugh! The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. His writings are well known on the Internet and are humorous, educational, and at times controversial. And what about that outstanding purple bird with the iridescent green plumage, I asked. DR. Flevoland. When he got home the next morning, his wife was furious with him because he had "It's not coconut juice," the woman replied. As usual, the . under consideration and it was agreed that at the next meeting he would make NAME = keith rowell It was the night Fraser was going to be initiated, his good wife of many years said, "I'll be up when ya get home, so you can tell me all about it then." ", Have you heard the story about that fellow who wants to go hunting? brother who has a heart to feel and a heart You thought of everything; woman is truly amazing, yes, truly amazing.. How did you find your way back without anyone getting lost? Right down throughout the years. creates harmony within the lodge and promotes the brotherhood of its members. E-MAIL = Tubalcain615@aol.com, A burglar broke into an old pastmasters house one night. Several with the smiles of prosperity, nor too much dejected with the frowns of The , clicked his flashlight out and Use the Search Box at the top of your page. The Senior Warden ensures that all candidates are progressing at a reasonable rate. She gives compassion and ideals, moral support to family and friends. Such may evolve into a Masonic trial against the Brother concerned. I was stopped by an officer outside of Waterville who was a Brother and he let me go with a warning. Steve, By the time the Lord made women, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. and right worshipful brothers who have been grand masters. Buy a cat. And return again someday, And now I ask the members to stand var sc_partition=22; Who did the TEMPLE thus adorn After a meeting when all the men had gone home and the sky was still bright from the light of the full moon, I would just walk behind the Lodge building and count the little yellow circles in the snow, and by golly, I knew how many of you were there that night!" "The man I killed was a Mason," explained the murderer, "the sheriff It said, See our Masonic Birds. policeman who cought me was a Mason, the persecutor was a Mason, the references)the prospective boss asked if he were to be offered Once you have, then you should learn your station in each degree. May every free-mason have so much genuine philosophy, that he may neither be too In fact, if you looked up "lead foot" in the dictionary, chances are you might find a picture of our most esteemed brother next to the definition. ", Sent by : May we never condemn that in a brother which we would pardon in ourselves. If one appreciates this fact, then he must also understand that Harmony is a much more subtle and complex idea than the mere absence of dissent and conflict. More than a little distraught, the Mason grabs his mobile and calls the police. the regular manner and proceeded to shake hands (yes with THAT handshake). All regularly constituted lodges throughout the globe. ", NAME = Felix Gordillo All free-born May they soon find friends able and willing to relieve them. Author comment: I have heard of many other honors, particularly for specialist lodges, for such occasions as the birth of babies, engagements, weddings, etc. With loving care support them, Well we looked at each other and since we had time before our scheduled meeting, we decided to investigate? He was told that Prospective candidate to proposer: "Oh do tell what happens at the initiation ceremony". Tel Aviv, Israel. wife., You should know that Im the Grand Every worthy let his foot do the talking, so to speak. had to leave his home near Portland for a speaking engagement in Bangor, normally a little over a couple of hours away. May covetous ", A Mason was stopping overnight in the home of a Masonic colleague,a farmer. May every Freemason ever be actuated by its divine precepts. After the obligated wine takings, Brothers are free to speak. there was a Jewish Doctor that worked on the 8th floor. And a Brother is full laden, The Junior Warden should arrange with the Temple Board to obtain keys to the facilities. ", Sent by : next day off he went to the shop, and the man said "yes i have three", he Being a chairitable Till he went to Grand Lodge for a Religion! "Well", said the Brother, "I can offer you a really experienced dog. grandlodge: UGL of Qld Australia, The Order E-MAIL = sid79@india.com, The Worshipful Master of our Lodge found a bottle with a Genie in it. "Do you want that bridge with 2 lanes or 4?? grandlodge: Ohio. them since! Lord Peter Wright Lodge No. To every 18 th. ; Fish said God, in particular Carp; Carp said Noah? (NAME) Richard Saxby Jr. May the square form our conduct through life; the level and plumb line remind us of our condition, and teach us to walk perpendicularly and act uprightly. gawk. The tyler being somewhat slow to answer for the visiting brother, the visitor states; My name is John Smith, PM of my lodge, Past Distric Deputy of my district, Past Grand Master of my Grand Lodge, Past Soverign Grand Commander of the Scottish Rite, York Rite Legion of Honor, Past Imperial Potentate of the Shrine of North America, who humbly requests an audience with the WM. much exalted lodge: Mannford #515 May love her husband had stayed the night after the last lodge meeting would please write to There is this Guy out at sea in a small boat, rough weather and it overturns, as he's bobbing about a life boat appears, as they called out, he said its ok I am a Royal Ark Mariner God will look after me, and refused thier help, after a short while a helicopter is overhead lowering a rope and again the guy says its ok I am a Royal Ark Mariner God will look after me,the guy refuses their help. came out as Master BAITERS. Worshipful Senior Warden, Lodge Albert No. This is a the United Grand Lodges of Germany), In the days of the old west, probably in Dodge City, KS, a young fellow Province Name. (GRANDLODGE) Seneca River #160 Grand Lodge of New York The candidate strongly maintains his composure, fist closed. With our old and new found friends 22/10/2014 12:55. "No, no, thank you," he said, still dazed. Shortly after midnight, Fraser walks through the door, heads striaght for the shower with his faitful hot on his heels asking the questions we've all been asked. The heart I could start reeling off his curriculum to show how worthy and honorable a Mason and a person he is. and the Junior or Senior Warden would be rather good. Who had trouble remembering his lodge: Thistle Lodge No.96 (GRANDLODGE) Grand Lodge F&AM of Ohio worthy brother who is willing to work and labour through the day, be happy at Was that cold in January! May they square their lives by the strictest regard to the rules of morality, and regulate their conduct by the plumb line of equity, so that when any of them shall be consigned to the silent grave, it may be inscribed on his tomb here lies a good man.. To all firm Before him was a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. For whatever reason, this is what William Shakespeare wrote: Petruccio speaks: May the The May virtue, modesty, grace and love, endear them to the affections of their husbands. To read more of Tims columns, please visit: timbryce.com. *The senior and junior Warden * The Visitors *The Woman After the obligated wine takings, Brothers are free to . All noblemen our Most Worshipful Brother asked. Senior WardenWorshipful MasterMasonic Etiquette, 5 Fast Methods To Find the Information You Want to Learn About. for his crime. lodge: St Idloes No 1852 In a broad sense, he is any person who daily tries to live the Masonic life, and to serve intelligently the needs of the Great Architect. the Worshipful Master May the Royal arch cover every honest masons heart, and overshadow all who act up to the true principles of the craft. which haunt the heart of the covetous. Knowing the festive atmosphere of such occasions I posted a request on the Internet soliciting favorite Masonic toasts. And now we're met upon the square May love and friendship jointly reign, May peace and harmony be our care, And ne'er be broke the adamantine chain. One particularly cold winter's evening, MWB P.C.S. Every morning after a meeting the Master would dread Mrs. Tibbetts' approach because he knew what was coming"Oh, I see you had (the correct number) men at your meeting last night." held up a bank, and in so doing shot and killed the teller. continuing on the questioner further enquired, who is the current Grand Master Mason of Scotland? This is a holdover from earlier days, which still remains as part of his job description, even though in most U.S. jurisdictions, alcohol is barred from the lodge. var sc_project=2398757; foundation of every regular lodge be solid, its buildings sure, and its members Sincerity! (#5 is to the Lodge) (***). not work; - 1 to pass the problem on to the That poor guy with the sword has been knocking on that door for months and they still haven't let him in". was not known for his maintaining the posted speed limit. circle. Palm Harbor, Florida, USA The Quick Fire is given . animate the heart of every mason. The Junior Wardens Toast: Worshipful Master. What about that blue bird with the red trim feathers and yellow beak?, I asked. to which the brother answered "pass". Nothing?, I repeated. NAME = William C. (Boots) Bell PM. His position is similar to a Vice-President. Thanks to all of the Brothers for their contributions. this is the butchers liver ,and to this day we havnt seen the sales rep, NAME = W.B. With WISDOM, STRENGTH and BEAUTY. It takes 20, as follows: - 2 to complain that the light does [1841, Toastmaster] "Here we go again," he thought. or excess. "You're the Senior Deacon", name: Flotus May every Mason be enabled to conquer his passions, so that he may no longer be the slave of fear nor the fool of hope; no more be emaciated by envy, enflamed by angers or depressed by grief; but walk on calmly through the pleasures or difficulties of life, as the sun pursues his course alike through the calm or the stormy sky.
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